Irvy, called Taokaka (duokinneas) wrote in rurounisues,
Irvy, called Taokaka
duokinneas
rurounisues

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I am alive. I'm also disgusted with this wonderful new Sano-loving Sue

Story Or Series Title: Sibling Rivalries. Let me guess, she's Kenshin's sister?
Fandom: Rurouni OH MY GOD YOU KILLED MY FAMILY PREPARE TO DIEEEEEEE! I mean, Rurouni Kenshin, liek whoa.
Culprit Author's Name: Page-Chan. Automatic point deduction for usage of a name suffix. I don't care how cute you think you are; most of us will likely not agree.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Reiko. Although for some reason, at one point, it becomes Reikowalked.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of jealous, vengeful bitch-type thing mixed with new-age I-don't-need-your-help womyn.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Unmentioned, thankfully.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Nope, not that either.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: As with the previous two, these were omitted. I don't consider that much of a benefit, though; it's just another show of laziness.
Special Possessions (if any): Her dead brother's "blood stained headband" from when he was in the Sekihoutai, "damn memories" of her family's tragic end, and a vengeance towards Battousai for killing them before her very eyes - for no apparent reason.
Annoying Origin: Some convoluted, tedious former Sekihoutai plot device.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Well, let's see... She wants Kenshin (or rather, Battousai) dead; she reported her family's death to Sagara-taichou, who was remarkably unfeeling about it; she runs into Sano after getting into a mess, trying to play the hero; she dislikes Megumi off the bat for daring to suggest that she, a powyrfyl womyn, needs medical treatment... What've I missed?
Annoying Special Abilities: Being able to knock thugs unconscious only to be cut in the arm and have Sano save her, not wincing when Megumi's medicine - which apparently stings like a bitch - is applied, although "Even Kenshin at least winces." Yeah, that's about it thus far.
Other Annoying Traits: Acting stuck-up and "cool," trying to be so strong (as I keep saying, she's fixated on her toughness) and self-reliant, dwelling obsessively on revenge like a worse Battousai-stalker than Aoshi was.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: I cannot contain my joy at this first chapter. Really, I can't. I'll let you jump in right during the fight to save a boy who is getting beaten up - for no apparent reason!

"Well, I guess you're not the wimp I thought you were." The "leader" ran at her and drew a real sword. Stunned from shock of someone carrying a real sword when it's against the law, almost didn't dodge it. It still sliced her in the arm. The man turned around and rushed at her to stab her, but was punched in the gut by a tall man with "aku" written on his back. He also had a red ribbon um, no, that's not a ribbon in his hair like Keisho and his friends. "Hey, are you all right?" he asked Reiko without turning around. "I am clearly unimportant, since my dialogue doesn't get its own paragraph!" he said, conveniently forgetting to mention the missing commas and pronouns in said paragraph. "And I wear a ribbon!"

"What about the boy?" Reiko looked over to the heap that was the boy as she clutched her left arm. The man picked up the unconscious boy and turned to her.

"Come on. What're you waiting for? Your wound needs to be treated and I'm friends with a doctor." He turned back around and started walking. Unwillingly, Reiko followed. Though she wasn't all that unwilling; we know she's going to fall in love with him.

"Hey, do you know that boy?"

"Yeah, his name's Kikomatsu. He's a student at Sensei's school" Nice period. Maybe the Suethor needs to go to that school.

"Oh, now who is this doctor?" You know, if I didn't know any better, I would be highly confused by seeing "sensei" in reference to a teacher, and then her switching over to talking about a doctor. But I do know better, and I can see that the Suethor is no good at dialogue.

"Dr.Gensai. Do you know him?" No, but I know Dr. Gensai. There's a space, you see.

"No... at least I don't think so. So... who are you?"

"Sagara Sanosuke."

"Reiko. And thanks for helping me back there." 'Sagara? But, I thought Captain Sagara didn't have any kids.' They both walked silently to Sensei's home, since it is closer than Kikomatsu. When they get there Sanosuke called for Sensei. Has it ever occurred to her that there might just happen to be other people with the surname "Sagara"? From this, we can tell that she is beyond obsessive, except when it comes to grammar.

The man walked outside. "Sano, what's wrong. Kikomatsu! What happened to him!" "I won't ask. I already know, that's why I'm yelling!"

"He was being beaten by five men." Sano said. "We were hoping that you could tell his parents what happened while we take him to Dr. Gensai."

"Of course." Sensei walked off quickly towards Kikomatsu's home while Sano started off again toward where Dr. Gensai was. "Sensei" is even less important than Sano is. He gets his own paragraphs, but not his own name.

"Um... Sanosuke?"

"What?"

"You were in the Sekiho(sp?) Army weren't you?" Sano frowned at her. "No, Reiko. I was in the Sekihoutai. If you're so damn obsessed with it, why can't you spell it?"

"What? How did you-" Sano turned around.

"Well for one thing, you took on Captain Sagara's name. And you also have the same red headband as my brother." Reiko took out the blood stained headband from Keisho. How do you
know that he got his name from Sagara Souzou? How do you know that the band isn't some random fashion statement? Assuming makes an ass out of you and me, lady.

"Oh... so then you must have been that girl who..."


It goes on to the second chapter. This is complete with the actual medical treatment scenes, as well as flashbacks (denoted by "FLASHBACK" and "END FLASHBACK" tags), Reiko's first sight of Kenshin, in which she doesn't actually recognize him, and another Sano-Reiko conversation, again of little importance but great importance to the riveting plot.
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Oy vey...>__<;;

I don't think they were supposed to have females like her in Meiji-era Japan. (And why the FUCK does she hate on Megumi? She, like the other RK women, has an odd amount of power for the age...not many female doctors around.)
She just dislikes Megumi because she thinks that Megumi is more womyn than she is. Grawr, hiss, and all that. Basically, it's a case of, "Oh noes, I'm homeless and unoriginal, but Megumi has a cushy job and is smarter than I am! Let's bash her! Sano, love meeee!"

In all, you're right; she's sickeningly out of place.
Although for some reason, at one point, it becomes Reikowalked.

Dahahahaha! That's quality.
Ay, Sues like this hurt most of all. They think they're being all feminist and whatnot, but really, when the entire point of the fic is for Miss Sue to hook up with Bishounen-of-the-week...it kinda ruins her credibility. Just maybe a tad bit. ¬_¬

"You were in the Sekiho(sp?) Army weren't you?"

Blast it all, it takes what, two minutes to do a Google search to check? Geez, like I'm supposed to take her fic seriously if that's the kind of effort she puts into it?

Thanks for decreasing my stress level, Suethor--NOT! *storms off*
::sniff:: Poor "Sensei." ::eyeroll:: What a ditz. I mean, there are obvious historical discrepencies in RK, but most of the characters at least /kind of/ are period. Especially in the manga. ::looks around:: ::sets the fic on fire::
Burn, my monkey, burn!!!! XD
At least in canon, the discrepancies are forgivable. For all that the canon females are strong, they behave excusably within Meiji-jidai standards. This, though... Not even Kaoru and Misao, the fighters, will refuse help when they need it, or insist that they don't need medical treatment. They acknowledge weaknesses! That's what a strong person does, after all.

**watches the fic burn** Ahh, this is so much better. **dumps gasoline on the fire**
'Sagara? But, I thought Captain Sagara didn't have any kids.'

Historically speaking, he did. But you know, not in her Sue-verse (nor was it mentioned in RK, so I can't blame her). Poor Sekihoutai ;__;. Haven't they gone through enough already?
Shhh, don't tell her the historical truth! Being a father makes Sagara-taichou totally unhot! And that isn't good! **weeps over the grave of canon, including the Sekihoutai**
Of course I won't tell her. If the many Suethors did know they wouldn't touch him, which is what one can hope for seeing as they pollute FF.net with their horrid "stories" of canon-rape. Not only is Captain Sagara "totally unhot," he's completely off the market if they did know as well.
(Wierd. I'm the third person posting with an Hagaren icon.)

That "cliff-hanger" was so cheap. Cutting off in the middle of a sentence? Dear lord.
The Suethor manages to wrap up most of the cliches of RK Sue fiction in one neat package. Now all we need is a sequel where they're all reincarnated as vampires.

Anonymous

November 23 2004, 14:31:53 UTC 12 years ago

Thank you for making my day with that comment. Don't tell her though. Rule 0, don't give the GM ideas. Or at least that's what it is in an RPG environment, here it's "don't give the crapthor ideas".
......Ugh.