Story Or Series Title: Between Class Adventures
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin. (For an extra-creative change in pace, we decide to turn Kenshin into our hawt boyfriend OMG LOL !!11!1!one)
Culprit/Author's Name: HitokiriBattosaiess (...::snort:: No, you know what? I'm not even going to try.)
Full Name (plus titles if any): Melanie and Julie. (Badly-written self-insertion fic HO!)
Full Species(es): Maryus Sues Doublus Insertius/
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Also not mentioned
Unusual Markings/Colorations: As stated in the Author's Notes, unimaginable cuteness. (::cough::)
Special Possessions (if any): Kenshin, Aoshi, Saito, Soujiro, AND Kanryuu Evil Clone Dolls. Complete with completely idiotic and out-of-character actions and deeds! Not to mention Kenshin's and Aoshi's stolen, ripped-out hearts on rusty platters.
Annoying Origin: Hell. Or the spawning cesspool that is Middle School Pre-Adolescent Minds. Take your pick.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The new girlfriends of Kenshin and Aoshi. (Uncontrollable vomiting, take three! ::hurk::)
Annoying Special Abilities: The ability to make AOSHI, cold, icy, emotionless Aoshi, kick Kanryuu's ass for the sake of a pencil so his girlfriend will stop crying. This man has barely blinked an eye at all of Misao's tirades through their years together, one Mary-Sue blinks a few fake tears at him, and he all of a sudden turns into Mr. Super-Macho-Let's-Save-the-Poor-Defensel
KENSHIN: Umm, excuse me, Mr. Saito, but I am in need of a writing utensil and I noticed you were in possession of some at this current time, so I will now forcibly remove them from your posession!
SAITO: ::long drag of cigarettte:: ::proceeds to whale the shit out of Kenshin::
No offense to the Rurouni, but that's about how it would work. Kenshin trying to force Saito to do anything, much less attacking unprovoked, is about as uncharacteristic as one can get. Good job, Suethor!
Other Annoying Traits: SELF-INSERTION! Gods, this is the one thing that all fandoms need to be free of most of all. We do not CARE FOR YOUR DRIBBLE. Mary-Sue, fine! Add in whatever characters you like! We'll laugh at your pathetic hides and beat you up anyway. But if you write a story specifically for the purpose of being able to see your name and your favorite bishounen's name lumped together in the same paragraph, then you deserve to be taken out back by burly men named Vito and subsequently taught proper writing styles with Vito's brass knuckles.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Here, know what? I'll just include the entire story so far!
Aoshi (Mel’s boyfriend), Kenshin (Julie’s boyfriend), Soujiro (our buddy), Mel, and Julie are walking down the hall. (Yeah, we’re at school... 13 year-old Aoshi is soooooooooo frickin’ hot!! we both think so...) Suddenly, Mel realizes she’s forgotten her pencil. Then, from the other side of the hallway comes Kanryu, (ewwww....) the gay ass nerd. (True, so true, ain’t it?) Mel bursts into fake tears, since she needs a pencil for math. She asks “her baby,” Aoshi to get her one.
Observantly, Aoshi sees the pencils sticking out of Kanryu’s nerdy pockets. Kanryu stops to hit on Soujiro. Souj (that’s his nickname) gives him a look and backs away.
Aoshi must take a pencil by force. He commences to kick Kanryu’s arse. Kanryu attempts to flee. Aoshi chases Kanryu down the hallway. (Mel- OOOOOOO! I LOVE the chase scenes, don’t you?!) Then, Aoshi catches him, for he stopped to goggle at Sanosuke. (...Creepy)
Then, Aoshi beats the shizit out of Kanryu and gets a pencil for Mel, (awww... so sweet.) and stomps the rest. (We HATE Kanryu!!!) Mel hugs and kisses Aoshi in thankfulness. (Her real boyfriend wouldn’t be thrilled...) Then, of course, Julie realizes that she is also pencil-less. She looks at Kenshin all big eyed and pouty.
So, Kenshin wants to get a pencil. So, he looks and sees Saitoh coming with a very full pencil case. (Very convenient.) Kenshin then kicks his arse, literally. Saitoh panics, runs (well, tries to) and falls. Kenshin smirks. Then, he retrieves a pencil for Julie. She hugs him in thankfulness as well. Now everyone has a pencil. (‘cept Kanryu and Saitoh!) -End of #1